Thursday, October 15, 2009

Remembering the Lost


Today, Thursday, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The day was created to promote support, education and awareness for grieving parents nationwide and worldwide. So today, like any other day, we remember our gorgeous baby girl Annaleigh, along with all those sweet little ones who join her in heaven.

Throughout our entire trying to conceive/pregnancy/NICU/parenthood journey I have met many, many amazing women who have suffered devastating losses along their way. Their support and guidance has been invaluable to me, as we are all part of a club that no one wishes to join. I'm thinking of each and every one of their sweet babies who had to leave this world too soon.

Today is a day to remember, reflect and be incredibly thankful for your healthy, happy children. Hug your babies and send love to all the tiny angels watching over them.

We love you Annaleigh. Charlie and Lily are doing you proud - thank you for taking care of them.

20 comments:

Ally said...

Brooke and Joe, I have been following your blog for some time now and have really enjoyed reading about your beautiful babies. I also have lost a baby, my son David. Someone shared this poem with me shortly after we lost David and I thought I would share it with you. It does refer to women, but I think it can be for men too. I feel for you guys and although my experience was very different from yours, I know it is hard to care for other children when you are grieving for a child.

Walking in my shoes by unknown
I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. Most people they never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are mght make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Anonymous said...

Hello! I have been reading your blog for a few months now, and I finally got up the courage to post. I have been debating posting for a while but I finally decided to just do it. I don't know why I'm feeling so nervous and shy about this, but here goes!

First of all, I am so sorry about Annaleigh. She was a beautiful little girl who didn't deserve to leave this Earth so soon, and I cried when I read your posts. Annaleigh reminds me a little of myself. I am part of B/B/G triplets (I'm the girl), and we were born at 27 weeks. They weren't sure I would survive because I had some kind of stomach issue (I've never asked exactly what it was, but that is what my parents have told me).

Anyway, I wish all the best for Lily and Charlie--they are SO cute! I will pray for them, and I look forward to reading your blog every day!

britta said...

Remembering Sweet Annaleigh today.

I am not a mother, but I have known loss.. My mom lost one of her twins 9 years ago and my younger sister lost her son back in April.

I may not be able to light a candle tonight in honor of all the babes lost, but I am praying for all those mommies and daddies who are without their precious babes.

Love,
from Ga.

Kaitlyn said...

There is a candle lite in our house for sweet Annaleigh. Lots of love to you guys today.

The Deans's said...

I just lit a candle for your sweet baby girl.

Rebecca, from CT said...

Remembering Annaleigh today and always!! Keeping you and your family in my thoughts today and always. That poem is very touching.

Jennifer said...

You will be remembered Forever Beautiful Little Angel...God Bless You Annaleigh Lucy...

Anonymous said...

I've been following you guys for some time now, crying at times and rejoicing at others, and I just wanted you to know that I am remembering sweet Annaleigh today. I don't know loss like you do, but I know it's hard. My prayers are with you and your family everyday!!

Amber from NC

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you & your beautiful angel, Annaleigh. Even though I am complete stranger who fell in love with your family via this blog, I lit a candle tonight in honor of Annaleigh. You are always in my prayers. Charlie & Lily are so precious! Enjoy every moment.

Christinie said...

We are all part of a club that no one wishes to join...........agreed.

Remembering Anneligh, remembering my babies too

happy_wife said...

Annaleigh will not be forgotten. Not today, tomorrow or ever. You will not be the only ones that remember her. Not you, or your families, or the staff that cared for her, but all of us that have followed your story and have been touched by your family. The love of you, as parents; the sweetness of Charlie; the diva of Lily; and the light of Annaleigh that will shine in all of us that have ever heard of her too short time on this earth.

You carry the love and memories, but all of us can carry the hope Annaleigh brought to the world.

Colleen said...

Sending love and rememberance to Annaleigh. And love and prayers to the rest of your family.

Anonymous said...

That was a beautiful post.

becki777 said...

I am thinking of your family and Annaleigh today.
bobo-the-fish.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

We will always love and remember Annaleigh -- our precious angel! Her beauty will always shine through in Charlie and Lily.

Sara said...

I found this story and wanted to share it with you.

*~How Preemie Moms Are Chosen~*~
(Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?
She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice.

Amy said...

Sending love, hugs and prayers.
Beautiful gravestone, and I love the three pumpkins. That made me tear up. :)
Amy/Macchiatto

Kelly said...

Hey there, it's FaithRocks from the nest - I just wanted you to know that I follow your blog daily even though I don't always comment. I wanted to tell you that I live in South Texas and today there were butterflies EVERYWHERE. I mean, they were all over the place, you couldn't miss 'em. I thought of Annaleigh and I wanted you to know that she (or maybe some of her friends?) may have been hanging out in South Texas today. Sending my love, Kelly

Miche said...

Man I remember hearing about your babies being born and then hearing about your loss. I cried the day/night I found out your Annaleigh was joining our Megan Grace in Heaven.

They were born less than 36 hours apart and now they are playing in the fields of Heaven together.

I'm so happy your other two children are thriving. What an amazing blessing. Big hugs!

Carla Pin said...

Brooke, you are a trooper and a very courageous woman! I gave birth to stillborn twin boys in 2005 and had my twins at 30 weeks of gestation in May/2008. I can't stop crying while reading your blog...best wishes to your family, you are an amazing mom!
Carla