Proud Papa

I write this with a smile beaming on my face. I am, for the first time, feeling every bit the proud father.

Lily finally took a bottle for me—she guzzled the whole bottle in just a few minutes. This was just minutes after finding out that she has outgrown the preemie diapers! My littlest baby is growing up!!!

Lily was one pound eight ounces at birth and today she weighs in at four pounds five ounces. Her breathing has been steady on very low settings on the High Humidity Nasal Cannula and she may be able to reduce to a Low Flow Nasal Cannula some time soon. She got a quick sponge bath tonight and could not have looked more adorable the entire time. And when I was holding her before her feeding, she was looking at me with her beautiful piercing black eyes and I was just swooning. Every day I think, this is it; I can’t love them more. And then one of them does something and I fall in love with them all over again.

Charlie took a whole bottle for Brooke at 9:00 tonight, but he drank it so fast he had some issues with reflux. This was the third time today a feeding has been followed by a drop in either his heart rate or his breathing. Nurse Mary assures us that it’s something he’ll outgrow somewhat quickly, so we’re not altogether too worried. He’s also doing really well with his breathing and today was put on the Low Flow Nasal Cannula. His settings were so low that he’s barely getting any help at all with his breathing and it’s just a matter of time before he can do it on his own (hopefully).

Brooke went up to visit the NICU by herself in the morning today while I stayed home to cut the grass and do some schoolwork. I decided I would also visit Annaleigh at the cemetery today for the first time since we finalized everything a couple days after her funeral. I got there and was sad to see that all her flowers were dying or already dead. I don’t know why this surprised me since there’s no logical reason cut flowers would last more than a few days, especially when they’re left exposed outside and not cared for at all. I saw them and decided I would clean them up after I sat down to talk to her for a while. But as I was sitting there, I saw that a whole family of butterflies was fluttering around inside the dried up leaves and flowers on her grave. Maybe they were just passing through but I remembered the day of her funeral they were there and Brooke noticed them when we were there after the funeral. So maybe some butterflies have made a home on Annaleigh’s grave. I know it sounds ridiculous but I find this very comforting. I still plan on cleaning up the flowers maybe next weekend but I hope the butterflies decide to stay there anyway.

That’s all for today. Back to school tomorrow, which means back to one visit each day. I’m not looking forward to that, but at least I can see the light at the end of the long NICU tunnel and know that they’ll be home sooner rather than later. Go babies!


Look at Lily's muscles!


Lily just loves Nurse Alicia!


Feedling Lily tonight took about five minutes.


Charlie would happily stay in his mommy's arms all day long.


If his mommy can't hold him, Charlie is happy to cuddle with Nurse Mary. She takes great care of him!


He was sound asleep after his breathing issues tonight but Charlie still looked really cute in his onsie. It has sneaker feet!